Year Four in Israel: I'm still here!

When I first moved to Israel, I figured I'd be here two years, maybe three, yet somehow here I am at the end of Year 4, enjoying the summer holidays and trying to avoid my office (where I should really be prepping for Year 5). We've been on holiday nearly a month now and it has been blissful. School just takes over my life during term time, so to be able to get up when I feel like it, go to bed when I feel like it and lie on my balcony in the sunshine all day is so wonderful. I can't work out how worried I should be that it appears I'm almost a different person during the holidays. Sitting drinking coffee with friends during the Easter break, one of them turned to me and commented on how relaxed I seemed. Similar comments have been made in the past four weeks. Maybe it's just the teacher's lot in life, rather like a werewolf changing form with the new moon. Maybe I just work too hard.

 

My desk by the end of the summer term.

I've now completed my first full academic year (August to June) as head of secondary and it has been just as much of a rollercoaster, learning-curve, challenge, headache and joy as those first 6 months. The first semester, in particular, leading up to Christmas was incredibly hard work and utterly exhausting. I have a vivid memory of getting into work one morning feeling rather overwhelmed, my boss entering my office and launching into what felt, to me, like a homily on something I had cocked up the day before. I put my head on my desk, shut my eyes, and asked him to come back in 10 minutes because I really couldn't handle anything else right them. He did, bless him, and I have a feeling he organised a cup of coffee for me, aware that I was at the end of my tether. I went home for Christmas and was so shattered I couldn't really engage with anything or anyone, at least for the first week of a two-week holiday. A friend who spent with Christmas with us provided welcome relief from my moods and was endlessly patient in listening to me rant about everything (thanks Naomi, you're an absolute star). My poor family bore the brunt of it, coping with my crankiness remarkably well, though the fact that I was so strung-out did not go unnoticed or unremarked. My mum, on dropping me off at the airport, said to me that "You need to tell your boss that he is never to send you home to me in that condition again." I returned to Jerusalem feeling nearly normal again and then was given a minor reprieve by the arrival of enough snow to shut the school for two days, enabling me to spend more time sleeping, seeing friends and generally re-charging. If there is one thing that I have learned this year, it is that my free time is almost indescribably precious and I have become incredibly protective of my personal space.

Speaking of learning stuff (every day's a school day, people), this year has been a crash-course in the following things: PR; people management; time management; consensus development; bureaucracy and how to limit it; leading educational theory and how to apply it effectively; and lastly, managing my caffeine/nicotine dependency. This job might just be the most demanding and challenging thing I have ever done, and the learning curve still looks steep and craggy rather than soft and gentle. I'm developing what could probably be described as coping strategies, to varying degrees of success:

• I do not have to do everything people ask of me, all the time, as soon as they ask it. a) I can say no and bounce the task off to other people as is appropriate, and b) I can delay. One of my colleagues has a habit of bounding into my office like an enthusiastic puppy and presenting me with work that of course must must must be done at that moment. I used to abandon whatever I was doing, to the detriment of my stress-levels and the task I was working on, and tackle the other work regardless of its importance. I've since developed a coping strategy of putting my head to one side and asking (sweetly, I hope) if the work needs to happen now or whether it can wait a few hours. The work gets done, everyone is happy and my day is not totally derailed.
• There are many, many interest groups and the biggest challenge is to balance them equally. I've found myself this year in situations where I've had to mediate between several different parties - parents/staff/other staff/other parents/occasionally a student. Somehow you have to make each group feel heard and supported, at the same time as weeding out the truth in often murky situations. It drives me crazy, not least because I am (as my mother frequently tells me) too honest for my own good, and want to tell people a few home truths. Lawrence, my boss, is the king of diplomacy in these situations - I'm always astonished at how people who were furious before meeting with him come out all smiles and geniality. I still have a long way to go and am learning to bite my tongue at the right moment. It's really hard.
• There are some things that some people care about that I think are totally redundant, but you have to accommodate them. Honestly, I've had moments this year where people have come to me to ask me stuff and my first answer was "I really don't care." So, it turns out that this approach is tactless and can offend people. Who knew? I'm trying to be better at this, at the same time as cutting useless crap out of my day. It's also really hard.
• You really have to watch what you say. See the previous comment about being too honest for my own good.
• When all else fails, go hang out with the students. It's lonely at the top, as my IB Diploma Coordinator keeps pointing out to me (with the sort of smile that indicates that's she's secretly very amused by the situations I find myself in) and it can be so easy to get stifled/overwhelmed and forget the reason you got involved in education in the first place. I have developed the habit of taking my lunch in the cafeteria with the kids, whether I'm on duty there or not. Sitting with them, playing cards, listening to their jokes and chatter and angst and woes, talking to them about anything and everything (they have an unnatural interest in my love-life), bantering back and forth. People always wonder why you would actively want to teach teenagers. I always reply that they are amazing - so full of energy, life, ideas, curiosity, humour, angst, sarcasm, weirdness. They are brilliant. It's good for my soul to remember that.

I feel like I could go on ad nauseam about the lessons I have learned, and am learning, and will continue to learn. My job is draining on every level - I've blogged previously about how the fact that a lot of my friends left last year didn't really impact me as much as I thought it would simple because I've been so busy with school - but I do love it. I am very blessed.

#balconysunset

In other news, life in Jerusalem is still brilliant. Last September I moved into an apartment all on my ownsome in Nachlaot, with a fabulous view over the city, a beautiful balcony, some hideous art work courtesy of my landlord (can't get rid of the damn stuff either) and main rooms full of light and air. It's the middle of July now, about 33 degrees each day, dropping a little at night, and whilst I have no air-conditioning (mazgan we call it) I don't really mind because the breeze blowing through the rooms keeps everything beautifully cool. It's my little haven and I just love living there. I do miss living with Allie, of course (I may never find anyone with the same love for the Gilmore Girls and same tolerance for my quirks) but given that I frequently work 12 hour days, it's lovely to come home, pour myself a G&T and sit on my balcony in solitude - something I never thought I'd say, raging people-person that I am.

Brunners underwater

This year was also the year I learned how to scuba-dive, something I've always been a little afraid of but which turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. I went on our annual school scuba trip to Eilat as a chaperone, and spent five magical days learning how to scuba and being blown away by the beauty of the Red Sea and the underwater world. It's hard not to wax too lyrical about this, because you do end up sounding up horribly pretentious, but it really was magical. I've been in and around water all my life, but being deep under the water in situations where you can't just rocket to the surface was a little scary for me. Also, our instructor Josh - who has possibly the foulest mouth of anyone I've ever met, something our students found totally hilarious - forced us to do underwater drills like taking off our masks and putting them back on again, then clearing them, which I found to be totally terrifying. Every time my mask came off I coughed and spluttered and felt water going up my nose - this from someone who couldn't dive in the pool without holding her nose - then panicked, which is the curse of scuba divers. By the end of the week I'd managed to master it and genuinely, genuinely it felt like one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. My wonderful friend Brittany, who was with us on the trip and who loves to scuba, says that it's really not for everyone and that's OK because it is scary, it is challenging, it does push you to the end yourself. Watching my students overcome their fears was a privilege; overcoming my own was a huge challenge and something I am secretly a little proud of.

I haven't just worked myself into the ground this year - as always, there have been many other highlights. Countless times with Tamar, who as always I could not do without, including nights out in Tel Aviv, days at the beach/pool, late night beers in Jerusalem. Some memorable nights on Brittany's balcony in the Old City, watching the sun set and eating delicious food. My lovely flatmate Allie's wedding, which I blogged about extensively here: http://abrunskillabroad.blogspot.co.il/2014/10/allie-got-married.html. Nights playing Settlers of Catan or poker with Brittany, Al, Helen, Carlos, Allie, Anis, Steve... A weekend away by myself in February to the Galilee, cycling round the Hula Valley and soaking up the peace. The school RE trip, walking the Via Dolorosa with the High School and sneaking off to eat fresh muttabaq with some of the 11th Grade. Another school trip with Grade 10 to the Golan, walking the Yehudiya river and enjoying the sunshine. Another school trip with the whole school to a local pool on the last day of term, watching staff and students enjoying themselves in the summer sun. Whizzing back to England for what Oxford loftily calls 'Gaudy' and the rest of the world calls a reunion, having a brilliant night catching up with the old Brasenose faces. I should also mention a work trip to an educational conference in Singapore (which will get the blog of its own that it deserves at a later date). I didn't think much of Singapore as a place - didn't ring my bell - but I did get to to catch up with people I'd been at prep school and secondary school with and had not seen for at least 15 years, plus I had a drink at Raffles - didn't think much of the Singapore Sling either, if I'm honest - and it was an amazing opportunity to travel so far and see a new city, as well as attend an outstanding conference with speakers at the cutting edge of educational theory. As I say, another blog on that to come.

Looking back on the year, it seems to me that I have done more than work, but not that much more. I don't mind this. There are times in your life when you give more of yourself to one thing than to another. This past year, as I've learned the new role, my job has demanded more of me than anything else. I am blessed to be able to turn to God for the strength to get through each day. I honestly could not get through each day if I didn't know that His love is totally secure and His faithfulness never ending. I am also blessed by my amazing friends here in Jerusalem, without whom I would not enjoy my life here so much. I am blessed by my church community, by Shahade and Annabel and little Yara and Miah at the Nazarene, whose support is unwavering. I'm heading back to the UK tomorrow for the annual furlough, 3 weeks of cricket on the radio (I bloody love the Ashes), boating with my family, seeing my precious friends, going to the theatre, going into town on Saturdays - how I love Saturdays in England - and generally enjoying my summer hols. I also know I'll be ready to come back here after those three weeks are up. I love living in Jerusalem so much that the thought of Year 5 being the final year makes me desperately sad. Oh well. Onwards and upwards. Let's see what the next year brings.